Yesterday I had to do some adulting. I went to the dermatologist. I am so glad I went but also a smidge sad about it at the same time. Turning 31 has been rough for me physically and mentally. My actual birthday was great. Worked, had flowers delivered, went to meet the teacher night, then went off to dinner and drinks with a friend before we hit the John Mayer concert. And returned to my birthday gift of a kitchen aide mixer from the mister. Seriously not too shabby of a day. The issues I’ve had about turning 31 is my body. I’m about 40 lbs from my goal weight and my face is breaking out like C R A Z Y!!!! I have full on adult acne and I am completely perplexed. I never really had acne when I was a teenager or in college. The occasional white or black head but that’s about it. I had so little skin problems that I rarely wore any kind of foundation. But here I am in my thirties with acne. Hardcore, painful deep acne. I thought since I was getting older I was in the clear! WTF is going on?!
Admittedly, some of this frustration is rooted in vanity. I just feel like I am finally finished having kids, now I want a part of me back and I don’t want to be turning into a troll. Yes I could work out more, my excuse like many, is that I have zero time. Plus I have Lupus which exacerbates my fatigue, so sometimes going to the gym isn’t always appealing. I know that I need to do figure out a plan, because there are only so many whining posts I can write. The skin part is a really tough pill to swallow though. I definitely encourage every one to go to the dermatologist at some point or another. Don’t try to do it by yourself because you could be doing more harm than good. I was surprised by the regime that my doctor put me on for two reasons. The first is that my new face wash and moisturizer is just Cetaphil for acne prone skin. I am that person who can fall into the trap of the pricey-er the item the better it must be. I was getting ready but a $150 skin regime system from Nordstroms just because they were talking about how natural it was and gave me a sample. But thankfully I brought it with me to my appointment and the dermatologist basically said it was a crap product. It had way too much fragrance, acid, and was irritating my face. I’m super excited to be saving money now. Definitely a positive.
The second surprising finding was how long it would take. She said I would start seeing serious improvement in about about 3-4 months. UM WHAT?!?! I have to show my face tomorrow in public lady!!! Christmas card pictures are supposed to be taken in that time frame. I can’t slap my kids on the cards like I did last year to get out of showing my eight month postpartum body. As you can probably tell from reading thus far, I was looking for a quick fix. A fix that I can’t have. After calling the mister (who’s comfort technique needs a little work) I called my best friend, sister and mother to get the female comfort I was clearly fishing for. They pulled me from my depths of despair so that I could think logically about the fact that this wasn’t that serious in the grand scheme of things. I took time for my body to get all hormonal and its going to take time for it to right it self out again.
Personally, I don’t like the phrase “My husband and my kids think I look good so that’s all that matters.” Its not all that matters ladies, what you think about yourself matters to. Not in a comparative sense but making sure you feel comfortable in your own skin. You’re the one who has to live with your powerful thoughts, so make sure they’re good ones about yourself. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin so I made an appointment with the dermatologist. I am a firm believer in using a village to help you through life and be your best self. Maybe your village includes a chiropractor, therapist and your wax lady. Which is awesome. Take the time to grow your village for yourself to squeeze everything you can from life.
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Code Name: Mama 