Monthly Mama Spotlight: Anna

Hi all I’m Anna!!! I’ve been married for five years and I am a Momma to a beautiful, energetic, lovely two year old boy named Holden Michael. As we ALL know, Motherhood is no walk in the park. No matter how much you read, practice or dream – it can never fully prepare you for a babe, especially a first babe.

I had an awesome pregnancy and an awesome labor and delivery. Exactly six hours from water breaking to holding him on my chest. All natural!! Postpartum Anxiety hit me from the jump and I had NO IDEA. I was fully prepared for PPD – watching my thoughts and feelings, but I was happy. I just couldn’t settle. I was so tired, but I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. Then anxiety eventually turned into depression. My body had changed so much. I was unmotivated to workout, eat right or even get out of my house. I have a summer babe, so it was too hot to take him outside. Then he was still too little to be out in the cold, in the winter. So I just stayed inside eating and THEN I didn’t even want to go out because I didn’t want anyone to see me! I withdrew from everyone and essentially became a recluse. A crazy, vicious cycle! (Carmen can attest – she practically hunted me down/also fun fact I’ve known Lauren and Carmen for more than 20 years!)

My husband is the bread winner and he was doing his job beautifully and I felt like as a SAHM…the baby/house is MY job. And you never want to complain to your spouse about the best job in the world…so I didn’t talk. I tried to keep everything perfect (outside of myself) until I started to crack. And that’s what kept me in my cloud for so long. I used to want 6 kids and to be a Wife and a Mother. I’d dreamed of that since I was a little girl. But when I became a Mom, and being raised by a Mom who was fulfilled being a SAHM…I had a very tough realization that I LOVE my Baby, fiercely. But I do not always love being a SAHM….and that is O-K-A-Y! And once I realized that, accepted it and talked about it out loud…that’s when my depression broke. And that was January of this year (my son was born July 2017!) That’s a long time, Girls! Too long!

So my encouragement to you is – if you are feeling these things – anything – TALK! Just talk! Open your mouth and talk to someone. Your spouse, find a Mom’s group in your area to join (this is what really helped me- Moms Time at my Church) or connect with someone in this community. We carry A LOT as Mommas and it is okay to want other things and it is okay to BE FULLY satisfied being home with your Babes and killing the SAHM Life! And it is okay not be perfect. None of us are – Welcome to the Club!!👏 Your crazy is welcome here and so are you!! Bc I know mine is 😁

Now, I have my own Communication Coaching business and I LOVE it! I get to stay home with my Baby, but also take Mommy-Mind Breaks and focus on something I really love encouraging others and it fills my cup back up! And by doing that – I enjoy my baby and motherhood SO much more! We are all different, but we are all in this together! You’re amazing, Momma!!!

Mommy Mode

Hi everyone!

I am so happy to announce my first guest blog piece for Donna Be of Mommy Mode. Meeting people via the internet incredibly fascinating and opens the world up for endless possibilities. This mama’s heart for her family and other mothers is so beautifully sweet, and you all should be following her as well.

So without further adieu, please click on the link below to read this week’s blog post featured on Mommy Mode entitled Fourth Times the Charm written by yours truly.

https://mommymodesite.wordpress.com/2018/04/04/fourth-times-the-charm/

❤️

Obligatory New Year Post

Happy New Year!!!

Okay so obviously we’re a few days into 2018 buuuutttt I feel like as long as I am in the month of January (okay maybe even February) its perfectly fine to wish people a happy new year.

So what are is everyone’s new years resolutions?! Goals??? Did anyone make any?? If you didn’t, don’t feel bad because I didn’t make any. Well I didn’t make any at first. To be honest I am not fond of writing down goals. I know that like flies in the face in Ted Talks, corporate seminars, and every Pinterest support board. But I DO NOT like to sit down every year and write down 10 goals. As a matter of fact I don’t even do it at work. I tell my boss when it comes to our quarterly goals, I will either copy old ones or just make up some general ones. I see friends of mine who year after year post their goals on January 1st and will post the completed goals (with footnotes) on December 31st. And I have so many feelings about that. One feeling is that maybe they are just stunting for the gram and another feeling is definitely an envious one because I would never be able to keep up with a sheet of paper for 365 days.

Why am I not in sync with goal writing? Because I am afraid of failure. And I suffer from intense tunnel vision. So I feel like if I write a goal I will zero in on one thing and not focus on any other goals until that particular one has been completed. Or if a goal morphs or starts not going the way I think it should I will have a nervous break down because I cannot see a way out of this “goal hell” I have created.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a very driven person. It is the fabric of my being. I push my self to do better and be better. I do not like being mediocre and I try to make sure that I say yes 90% of the time and deliver big time on my promise. However, I am super mental about it.

But…..

While talking to my sister over New Years, she convinced me to put pen to paper this year and try and form some sort of list that I can check off for 2018. So I have resolved to give resolutions a try. The definition of resolution is to make a firm decision to do or not to do something. So here on my resolutions: To say ‘no’ more, complain less, blog more, and stress less.

Those might be a little general yes but at least I started somewhere. These are very attainable for me and I will report back on my 2018 progress to tell you all how I am doing. Whatever you have chosen to do this year with your goals and plans, I hope they make you happy and you are a better person by the end of the year because of them.

❤

Martha, Martha, Martha

When I was younger I never understood what was wrong with Martha. You know the one, Martha in the Bible, sister to Mary and Lazarus. The story says that when Jesus came to visit, Martha got upset that her sister Mary was not helping with all of the preparations around the house and asked Jesus to chide Mary into helping her. As the oldest sibling I totally understood Martha’s plight. She had things to do and needed help! I’m sure there was food to prepare, quick dusting, plenty of things to throw in drawers and closets so everyone would think that her house was clean all the time. In my head, I was like come on Jesus, Martha is trying to make everything nice for you why is that such a problem? The story ends with Jesus basically telling Martha to chill out and sit down.

As an adult there are times my heart still sides with Martha. Especially as a working wife and mom, there is just soooooooo much to do. All the time….. like ALL THE TIME. I have to constantly remind myself to chill out and sit down. But do I listen to myself? Not as often as I should. The other day I fully overwhelmed myself; totally ignoring the little voice in my head and the much louder voice of my husband getting frustrated at my frustration.

Here was a list of what I did that day:

• Worked from home in hopes of being able to clean my house on the side (this doesn’t work as well as it sounds)
• Took son #1 to camp
• Took the younger two to the sitter
• Dropped off a prescription
• Picked up son #1 from camp
• Went to the library to pick up the prize for the summer reading program for son #1
• Picked up a prescription
• Mopped three bathrooms and the kitchen
• Cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen
• Washed all of the dirty clothes and towels
• Folded all that laundry
• Picked up the little ones from the sitter
• Went back to the library to pick up the prize for the summer reading program for son #2
• Cooked dinner
• Did the dishes

Then at the end of all of that son #1 spilled his drink all over my freshly mopped floor and one of our dogs threw up on the carpet. That’s when it all came crashing down around me. All of the sudden I was filled with whatever the step down from rage is. I immediately felt my worth tied up in all of those house hold chores. Like these two ordeals that occurred at the end of the day meant that I failed. And standing amidst the chaos the tears came down. I was Martha.

I could have waited to do like 90% of that stuff. Waited for my husband to feel better so he could help like he said he would or spread some of it over of the week. But instead I tried to be Martha and not take a moment to sit down. When I composed myself and looked at the little faces of the people who were very confused I realized how hard I needed to try to be Mary. Every single day be Mary for them. Yes house work needs to happen at some point but when your child (son #2) brings you your favorites candies (pictured above) and asks you to eat one with him in celebration that he pooped in the potty, you choose the candy. Not the dishes.

❤

 

Practical Marriage

Everyone loves gifts. Especially gifts from their spouse. Nothing is better than a non holiday or birthday “I was just thinking about you” present. At the beginning of our relationship one gift I enjoyed receiving from my husband was lingerie. At first I wasn’t really into picking these lacy intimates out for myself. I mean there is soooo much more I can buy for the price of some bra and panty sets. But once my husband started bringing lingerie home,  I welcomed them because I saw how he wanted me to feel beautiful even underneath my clothes.

Now flash forward eight years, three children and numerous pets later, I can’t remember the last time I’ve received lingerie…… Or even thought about it for that matter. So imagine my surprise when the hubs announces he has something special for me laying on our bed. Bolting upstairs, I find several sets of panties and socks in various colors sprawled out just for me. I am so giddy! But these aren’t just any kind of panties, no these are Hanes performance cool panties. According to the package they’re ultra lite and ultra breathable. Accompanying these cute little darlings are a few colors worth of Dr. Scholl’s dreamwalk spa socks. Jackpot!

Why are these freaking amazing? Because they’re exactly what I needed! Ladies it’s hot as lava this summer and I need to stay cool and comfortable in all areas of my body. Especially as a huge jeans wearer. And despite the heat, I get super cold at night and love wearing socks around the house.

Today made me realize that just because our marriages are different from where they first began, doesn’t mean we always need to wish for the old days.  We can find sexiness and beauty in all forms of gifts. Sometimes we get caught up in trying to figure out why our relationships aren’t as spicy as they used to be. But we’ve changed and are in a different season of life now. My gift from my main squeeze is the embodiment of how marriage evolves over time. The presentation and message of the new version of undergarments was the exact same as the frillier version. Except these Hanes are much more practical. And you know what, I feel super sexy (and dry) in them. So that’s a double win.

Now maybe we’ll go out for dinner with the money saved! Just kidding I’ve already thawed the beef for dinner tonight.

❤