Monthly Mama Spotlight: Anna

Hi all I’m Anna!!! I’ve been married for five years and I am a Momma to a beautiful, energetic, lovely two year old boy named Holden Michael. As we ALL know, Motherhood is no walk in the park. No matter how much you read, practice or dream – it can never fully prepare you for a babe, especially a first babe.

I had an awesome pregnancy and an awesome labor and delivery. Exactly six hours from water breaking to holding him on my chest. All natural!! Postpartum Anxiety hit me from the jump and I had NO IDEA. I was fully prepared for PPD – watching my thoughts and feelings, but I was happy. I just couldn’t settle. I was so tired, but I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. Then anxiety eventually turned into depression. My body had changed so much. I was unmotivated to workout, eat right or even get out of my house. I have a summer babe, so it was too hot to take him outside. Then he was still too little to be out in the cold, in the winter. So I just stayed inside eating and THEN I didn’t even want to go out because I didn’t want anyone to see me! I withdrew from everyone and essentially became a recluse. A crazy, vicious cycle! (Carmen can attest – she practically hunted me down/also fun fact I’ve known Lauren and Carmen for more than 20 years!)

My husband is the bread winner and he was doing his job beautifully and I felt like as a SAHM…the baby/house is MY job. And you never want to complain to your spouse about the best job in the world…so I didn’t talk. I tried to keep everything perfect (outside of myself) until I started to crack. And that’s what kept me in my cloud for so long. I used to want 6 kids and to be a Wife and a Mother. I’d dreamed of that since I was a little girl. But when I became a Mom, and being raised by a Mom who was fulfilled being a SAHM…I had a very tough realization that I LOVE my Baby, fiercely. But I do not always love being a SAHM….and that is O-K-A-Y! And once I realized that, accepted it and talked about it out loud…that’s when my depression broke. And that was January of this year (my son was born July 2017!) That’s a long time, Girls! Too long!

So my encouragement to you is – if you are feeling these things – anything – TALK! Just talk! Open your mouth and talk to someone. Your spouse, find a Mom’s group in your area to join (this is what really helped me- Moms Time at my Church) or connect with someone in this community. We carry A LOT as Mommas and it is okay to want other things and it is okay to BE FULLY satisfied being home with your Babes and killing the SAHM Life! And it is okay not be perfect. None of us are – Welcome to the Club!!👏 Your crazy is welcome here and so are you!! Bc I know mine is 😁

Now, I have my own Communication Coaching business and I LOVE it! I get to stay home with my Baby, but also take Mommy-Mind Breaks and focus on something I really love encouraging others and it fills my cup back up! And by doing that – I enjoy my baby and motherhood SO much more! We are all different, but we are all in this together! You’re amazing, Momma!!!

True Words

On our Instagram page we discussed a young Texas mother who died and had known struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety. Currently the specific reasons for her death are unknown but sadly it appears that her mental state with postpartum depression may have played a cause in her death. We pray for her daughter who has lost her mother and her husband who has lost his partner in life.

My sister recently discussed her struggles with the kind of emotional state that can sometimes befall many women once they have a baby. So much happens to your body and soul when you bring a human into the world. To dear friends who have gone through the experience of loosing a child during or after pregnancy and endure the sometimes overwhelming postpartum mental states without a child to hold in your arms; your strength is the very essence of motherhood.

We all have a had a journey into motherhood that was vastly different than anothers. My sister and I have two very unique paths as well and but each an experience with postpartum depression and anxiety. While some, like my sister Carmen, experienced it with their first child, I did not have any such experience until my third (a daughter) child was born. My daughter came into the world completely unexpectedly. She was month early and we were smack in the middle of closing on our first purchase house. Plus our oldest son was on spring break and our middle son was only a year and a half old. Talk about chaos. I have to admit that I tried to block much of that time out of my mind because… well…. guilt. But I remember a significant amount of crying. I CRIED MY FACE OFF ALLLLL THE TIME. I just remember it did not matter where I was or who I was with, I just cried. I felt overwhelmed all the time, I thought I would not be able to be a good my because I wasn’t strong enough and there where people who could do it so much better than I. Maybe my husband could find someone better for them, than what I could give. I called my mother and basically told her that I couldn’t do this and she needed to come help my husband with the children.

The few friends I shared my plight with, in well meaning ways, essentially told me to give it time. That I was a great mother and my kids needed me. The mister definitely did not understand. He tried, very hard, and he never rushed me or chided me but he just could not understand. And honestly most men can’t. But when I started being unable to sleep well (as much as you can with an infant) and couldn’t get out of the bed to tend to the other children, he encouraged me to get help.

My first step was anti depressants from my doctor but those made me worse. Finally, I talked myself into therapy. Something I had always considered an option for the rich and or weak minded. Even the mister who was always keen on the idea either, decidedly made it apoint to find the right therapist with me so I could get help. He needed me, he needed his partner, wife, lover, friend and mother of his children back. But I finally found a doctor who listened and let me weep and helped me heal. He gave me the mantra you see above to say four times a day for a month. “I am an awesome and worthwhile person who deserves to be loved first by me and then by others.” I will tell you it helped so much. It seemed that it was going to be lame but positive words are water for the soul. After four months twice a week sessions, I started to feel like myself again and I knew God gave those three sweet children to me for a reason. Maybe those words are not for you but I hope they do. As you can see I have carried them with me the past two years as needed reassurance. The card maybe worn but the words are true.

Find your words that are true to help you be your best true self.

❤

 

Tales From The Sick

Mamas I am alive!!! You’re like duh you’re writing a blog. But let me explain, my family just recovered from such an intense stomach flu that my husband and I needed an IV. When I tell you I’ve never had an illness hit that quickly and so hard, I was questioning if we were going to come out on the other side intact.

There are a couple of sources where the virus could have started from, but I attribute it to possible salmonella poison from this very questionable lunch at a Hawaiian BBQ. In all honesty my symptoms started earlier than the lunch but I need a place to point fingers. Anyway I was getting my tires rotated when my stomach started getting bubbly. You know the type I’m talking about, as a delicate woman one would never dream of describing the intimate details of the stomach troubles. But I am here to tell you there was nothing Betty Draper (Mad Man season one… also a Riverdale reference) about it. I was disgusting! And disgusted. But then it passed, I was able to gather myself out of the grimy automotive employee only bathroom and get back to work. Moving around the office helped the nausea and I scampered on home. At the same time the mister came home and was ecstatic about getting ready for a huge lucrative project at work the next day. While preparing dinner, the wave of inescapable meat sweats washed over me. As every minute inched forward my immune system weakened. While the aroma of my sausage and pepper dinner filled my house, I found myself laying across my couch clinging to life. At one point my three kids surrounded me pointing and laughing at my butt crack that was showing because I had loosened pants to relieve pressure. I mean I totally get it, seeing mom’s rear end while she’s in the depths of despair is a regular Three Stooges moment.

Finally, I explained to the mister that I had to tap out. It was tough because I knew that he was smack in the middle of preparation but I couldn’t last another minute in an up right position. With dinner still in the oven and children unfed, I crawled up our stairs and went straight to bed. We decided to call one of our local church youth girls to come over and assist with the kid situation. Feed them, put them to bed etc. As I wallowed in nauseous self pity, the mister comes barreling into our room declaring that he too has been hit by the monstrous bug. Our sitter left our house around 9:00pm, and we dove into the bellows of sickness. We made the horrible decision to heat the house because the chill was causing us to shiver more which made the cramping worse. By 11:00pm we were almost on a perfect cycle of alternating toilet time. Timing it like contractions. By 1:00am, we were both in full on Blair Witch Project survival mode. Nothing was staying down and we could barely relinquish the toilet to the other in time. Full disclosure……………… Full Monty disclosure……………. I pooped in the trash can ladies. Pooped. In. A. Trash. Can. When disease is coming full force out of both ends, any receptacle that can aid in your relief you take full advantage of it.

By dawn after a completely sleepless night , we realized that we would need to seek professional help. We needed an IV of fluids or some kind of diagnosis to tame the category five storm this bug had taken on. But there was one problem. We were still parents. There were kids that needed to get to school and the sitter and needed us to drive them per the usual. Our oldest son walked into the room to say good morning but as he did, he fell. Literally fell on the floor and crawled to his bathroom and vomited with fury into the sink. Basically he reenacted Maya Rudolf in Bridesmaids. Thus, one child down. Meanwhile, one of my best friends came over to take the healthy children to the sitter as we muscled our way to Urgent Care. Thankfully, we got some meds and an IV to assist with the extreme dehydration we both faced. FYI, we’re in Arizona so it is extremely easy to double down on getting dehydrated. Hence the dramatics. While we were finishing with Dr. Helpful, we got a message from our sitter that our daughter’s rear end had exploded and she couldn’t be around the babies anymore. Child two down. Now four out of five of the Taylor’s had hit a brick wall. So we now had to rely on our three year old to get us through the next however long this thing was going to last. Maybe it would help him mature a little (just kidding… maybe).

Spoiler alert, we all survived. It took about four days for everyone to be 100% again. Lactose free Activa and Pedialite (Earth’s Best version) worked wonders on putting us back together. The mister and I have never been sick together before, so we definitely learned some lessons on how to handle it next time (praying it doesn’t), even though there are no absolutes. For example, try your hardest not leave clothes in the washer for four days, despite illness. Also, schedule a house cleaner to come bleach your house down immediately after. As I see on Facebook the people who get hit with the worst stomach bug I think our town has seen (even though I’ve only lived here for five years), all I can do is act as an internet medic and offer up the tips that helped us.

❤

You are seen

I haven’t blogged in a while because of…. well…. life. So for this post I am going to repost this open letter first blogged by Jessica Satterfield from the blog Grace While We Wait. She is one of my favorite bloggers and she has such a beautiful ministry. All mamas are important. Working mamas, single mamas, adoptive mamas, stay at home mamas. But today’s post is dedicated to working mamas. You all are no less dedicated to your family than any one else. You are seen.

So without further adieu, I give you Dear Working Mama:

I’m so proud of you.

I watch you hit your alarm clock three times every morning and fumble out of the bed. Your exhausted feet hit the floor and you know you won’t be off them until you fall into the bed again at night. You rush to get ready. Throw on your clothes. Look in the mirror, and wonder if you can make it through another day. 

You dread waking up your sleeping baby to brave the bitter cold. After you put all the bags in the car, her bags, your bags, lunches, and who knows what else, you stand there and hold her. Yes. You’re running late, again. But you breathe in her scent because it will be the last time for 7 hours. 

You strap her so tight in the car seat she might as well be going to the moon. You pull out of the garage and check the “going out the door” list in your head before you close it. And you’re off. 

You sing to me all the way to work and I love it! She’s listening to you and although they’re just babbles, you’re teaching her to love me. I know you feel stuck sometimes and wonder if what you do really matters. Sweet mama, it does. 

I watch your heart break every time you walk into the sitter’s house. Not because she isn’t wonderful, but because she isn’t you. She’s the one who gets to hear a belly laugh and see a squishy smile all day. You’ll have to share your sweet girl with so many over the years. Do it graciously. I’m written all over her little life.  

I hear the prayers you pray for her as you walk out the door. Don’t worry, Mama. I know you love her more than your heart has words for, but she was mine first. I know when you get in the car, you put on a different face. Your work face. I know you’re trying your best! I see how hard you work, even when you feel no one else does. All the meetings, meltdowns, expectations, and pressure. It’s a lot. Too much sometimes. And you can’t stay there all day and night making the newest, best lessons anymore. You have to budget your time and use it wisely now. You might not be on all the committees like you used to, but I watch you love. And I love that more. I’m so proud of you. 

I hear you whisper to me throughout your day. I know you can’t wait to retreat with me, but I’m here now. I give you those super powers when you feel like you can’t make it until bedtime. 

You’ve learned that perfect looks a little different now. So it’s okay to leave when you still haven’t graded those papers. You’ve done Kingdom work today and your day is only half way over. It’s time to put your mama face back on.

You run up the steps to pick up your sweet girl. I love watching you with her. I had your family planned out from the beginning of time, and I love watching my beautiful plans. 

You glance at the mirror, still shocked even after a year, that your daughter is asleep in the car seat. I love your grateful heart.

We went through a lot to get her there, didn’t we? 

I hear you make all the phone calls in the car. Because not only do you work during the day, you’re a mom, but you also pay bills, make appointments, and work out the schedule for your little family. Everyone depends on you. And I love how you depend on me.

I hear you mentally go through the “what to do when I get home” list. It’s so much. Unpack all the bags. Repack all the bags. Iron your clothes, her clothes, his clothes. Lay them out. Pack lunches. Cook supper. Clean up from supper. And that’s a day you have at home. That’s a day without a meeting or appointment, so you have extra time.

And although you have all of that to do, I’m so proud that she comes first. You know how fast she grows up. And tomorrow, she won’t be this little. So I watch you get in the floor with her. You play, read, and sing the Bumblebee song. You are doing Kingdom work, Mama. I am so proud of you.

When he gets home. Everyone’s day is better! Now, he’s the one who comes first. I see you fail him, but I also know your heart. And you really long to love him like I do. Your imperfect marriage is so beautiful to me. You both are putting the Gospel on display, and she is watching.

I watch you glance at the clock. Because for now, life runs on time. And your days just don’t seem to have enough. Someone starts to get cranky and it’s time for a bath and bed. It’s okay when you feel guilty that you’re glad. I give you just enough energy to make it through the splashes and tantrums. And I hear every word you softly sing over her. I am already answering those prayers for her. Mama, you just wait to see what I do in her life. And you will be a part of it. I laugh sometimes when you dose off. And then other days, I want to come down from heaven and carry you to YOUR bed.

The “things I have to do today” list is almost complete. And even after all of that, you still come meet me on the white couch. It’s my favorite time of day. I get all of you. I understand that you can barely hold your eyes open, but Mama, my Truth is just the refreshment you need. My Word is the energy you need to love hard tomorrow. You serve so many all day, and you need me to serve you. This is how I do it. I love on you through my Word. And all I need you to do it open it. I’ll do the rest. And I’ll give you rest. You’re learning to dance with me, and you’re getting really good.

I watch you melt in the shower and wash the day away. You fall into the sheets that you will all too soon stumble out of. And I sing over you and pray for you while you slumber. You did more Kingdom work today than you will ever know, sweet Mama.

And you will never know how proud I am of you.

❤

 

#zumba #honesty

I tried Zumba Toning the other night. Here’s a quick list of things I learned about myself while in this class:

1. Just because I grew up dancing does not mean I’d be good at Zumba

– I did about 16 years of dance growing up and just knew that this would totally up my alley. I went with a friend and I was ready to show her the dancing ropes. Ummm yeah no. The rhythms and steps are not the same as ballet or halftime dance routines for high school football games. I immediately had two left feet and not beat in my head.

2. I have zero rhythm now (I blame the children)

– There are only so many times you can choreograph a full Broadway review to I’m A Little Teapot or The Wheels on The Bus without losing some of your juice.

3. My hip hop dancing dreams are over

– When I am in the car, I am basically at Studio 54 or Jennifer Lopez circa In Living Color. I dance my little heart out. I am convinced this is how I would go viral in life. And I have this dream that I could somehow become a 30 something back up dancer. I’d light up the stage and give Beyoncé a run for her money. But then I went to Zumba and I will never have that dream again.

4. I danced MUCH harder when I remembered I had a Sprinkles cupcake waiting for me at home

– Where I live the closest Sprinkles cup cake shop is about 45 minutes away. This is an abomination to my sister who can pop over to one within minutes. The mister happens to do a lot of work near the 45 minutes away Sprinkles, so sometimes when he remembers, he will bring me one of those glorious little cakes. So, I had a cinnamon with no icing cupcake sitting in the spice cabinet waiting for me. FYI, it was hidden in the spice cabinet so the children couldn’t find it.  And about 30 minutes into the session, I had this realization! And I gave it alllllll I had…….. just to earn that reward when I got home.

5. I don’t think I am as good at sex as I thought I was.

– I am so serious! Sex is about hips right; my hips do not move like that instructor!! I couldn’t even make them move like hers if I wanted to!! I mean I have three children so I’m sure I am doing something right, but good grief. Maybe the mister has been lying to me. The instructor could get low and whip it all around. I was so stiff. She kept telling us to shake and pop it and I almost had to raise my hand and ask her how to achieve that. Maybe I’ll ask next class.

But all in all, I really enjoyed Zumba. I can see how women flock to this way of working out. Mainly its fun. Actually, A LOT of fun. You all look ridiculous, you’re laughing and its oddly super empowering. No one is trying to lift more than another or run faster, you are all on the same playing field and it was really refreshing. So, try Zumba if you haven’t already (I realize I am like a decade late on the trend) and potentially see dreams die, realizations made and major fun had!!

❤

 

 

 

Obligatory New Year Post

Happy New Year!!!

Okay so obviously we’re a few days into 2018 buuuutttt I feel like as long as I am in the month of January (okay maybe even February) its perfectly fine to wish people a happy new year.

So what are is everyone’s new years resolutions?! Goals??? Did anyone make any?? If you didn’t, don’t feel bad because I didn’t make any. Well I didn’t make any at first. To be honest I am not fond of writing down goals. I know that like flies in the face in Ted Talks, corporate seminars, and every Pinterest support board. But I DO NOT like to sit down every year and write down 10 goals. As a matter of fact I don’t even do it at work. I tell my boss when it comes to our quarterly goals, I will either copy old ones or just make up some general ones. I see friends of mine who year after year post their goals on January 1st and will post the completed goals (with footnotes) on December 31st. And I have so many feelings about that. One feeling is that maybe they are just stunting for the gram and another feeling is definitely an envious one because I would never be able to keep up with a sheet of paper for 365 days.

Why am I not in sync with goal writing? Because I am afraid of failure. And I suffer from intense tunnel vision. So I feel like if I write a goal I will zero in on one thing and not focus on any other goals until that particular one has been completed. Or if a goal morphs or starts not going the way I think it should I will have a nervous break down because I cannot see a way out of this “goal hell” I have created.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a very driven person. It is the fabric of my being. I push my self to do better and be better. I do not like being mediocre and I try to make sure that I say yes 90% of the time and deliver big time on my promise. However, I am super mental about it.

But…..

While talking to my sister over New Years, she convinced me to put pen to paper this year and try and form some sort of list that I can check off for 2018. So I have resolved to give resolutions a try. The definition of resolution is to make a firm decision to do or not to do something. So here on my resolutions: To say ‘no’ more, complain less, blog more, and stress less.

Those might be a little general yes but at least I started somewhere. These are very attainable for me and I will report back on my 2018 progress to tell you all how I am doing. Whatever you have chosen to do this year with your goals and plans, I hope they make you happy and you are a better person by the end of the year because of them.

❤

Guilty

My favorite way to relax hands down is by getting my toes and nails done. I stick my head phones in and don’t talk to A N Y O N E. I have been going to the same salon for about four years, so they totally know I’m the client who only wants to be bothered when its absolutely necessary. I’m also a creature of habit so I get the same thing done when I go thus I am fully aware of the drill like when its time to wash my hands. When my nails are being attended, I read magazines and toe time is for sleeping or more magazines. Its seriously a nice hour and a half of Utopia. But on the drive home the guilt sets in. I don’t want to get caught…. by….. my sitter.

First of all my sitter is an ANGEL. This woman was literally sent from God to our family. She is the sweetest and my littles love her. Which makes me feel totally ashamed when I show up with the classic pedicure flip flops on. **To my other best friend who watched our middle child for close to a year, you are an angel and the sweetest too and a godsend as well. I know you’re reading this**. I’ve actually been blessed with pretty great sitters throughout this little kid time in my life and I felt this guilt with all of them (except the one who was terrible) because in my head I feel like they’re thinking “I wish I didn’t have to watch your snotty nosed kids and could get a mani/pedi. But no I had to stay here and sit for your kids who literally think they’re in a rock band.” Just a heads up, my kids noses are wiped often and very rarely snotty. The rock band part is true though.

I get my mani/pedi’s (when money allows) biweekly either while I’m on lunch (I have no problem showing back up at work with fresh nails) or if I have the time, leave a little early and get to the salon before I head home. My job is what we in our small town call “in town”. The drive is about 25 minutes, if there’s no traffic, with nothing but wild horses in between. Its a totally planned out thing, I try to make sure I have flip flops in my car to change into and on the car ride home, I put the car AC blower on my feet for faster drying. I never have time to sit and wait for my toes to dry at the salon because I am always on the go. I try not to show up with the flimsy salon sandals because I want my sitter to know that she is totally cherished and I am not taking advantage of her. Its just super convenient to take care of myself while the kids are already taken care of.

I feel like that is the working-outside-of-the-home mom’s dilemma though. Being plagued by the pull of making sure that our kids aren’t spending too much time with someone else but also needing to fit in taking care of ourselves. Most of us are doing the right thing by taking that extra hour for ourselves or choosing to pick the kids up early. Doing what’s right for our well being is the biggest goal that sometimes feels the least attainable. So at the end of this post I have no inspirational thought or a we can do it mantra… All I have is this 1. to encourage each of you to make sure you do what works for you whether there is guilt involved or not and 2. that I’m going to get my sitter a gift certificate for a mani/ pedi for Christmas.

❤

Pinners Unite!

My sister and I went to the Pinterest Conference. She attended the one in Texas, while I attended in Arizona. Can I just say that it was so epic! Seriously a sight to behold and an event to look forward to each year. Its like the state fair but for women. Below are our pointers/ramblings if you are planning on attending next year.

1. This is an event you can really go to alone or with girlfriends. There is soooooo much to see and do. Whether you are talking to vendors or doing the classes you can talk to someone new the entire time you’re there. Obviously its fun to go with friends, but make sure you guys are on the same page on how you want the experience to be. If you are wanting to take every class and your friend just wants to walk around and peruse, then its probably best to drive desperately and meet up for lunch (food vendors there are great).
2. BRING MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While the entree tickets are quite cheap ($8) and parking is going to depend on the venue, for example, Carmen’s was $20 but mine was $5, you will still need to save those coins for once you walk through those red curtains. Why you might ask? A. You are going to want to buy E V E R Y T H I N G. Most vendors are small business owners and most whose companies are still out of their homes. Therefore they can do some serious discounts. Plus there is such diverse array of products and you can get side tracked easily. B. While the classes are free, the materials are not. Carmen and I both wanted to make this farmhouse candle project (it was a craft at each separate events) but the materials were $35!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um I could have bought one fully made at Home Goods or Hobby Lobby for the same amount. Now obviously since we’re attending the DIY holy grail I understand the concept of spending more money just to say that I made it rather than buy it. But I just wasn’t planning on dropping that kind of cash on top of trying to shop. Most classes materials ranged between the $20 – $40 range.
3.  Ok so I just told you about the classes with expensive ass materials, but I wanted to let you know that they also have some classes that are free and still worth your while to sit in on. I went to a make up class, which was really more about how to keep your skin clear while wearing make-up. It was great and I learned some new techniques. The other one I went to was this lady who was talking about how to declutter your life….. I just need her to follow me around all day. Or at least make a monthly home visit. I also sat in on a couple of the craft workshops as they were finishing up. The speakers are super enthusiastic and know their stuff. I kinda wanted to walk up to a couple of them and ask for their hand in friendship.
4. THE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since Pinterest is all about making the ordinary unique, you can bet your bottom dollar that the food vendors are just as unique. And so good! Y’all I had a duck burger……….. it changed my life.
5. Try your hardest not to bring your kiddos. While the event is free for children under the age of 12 and they do their best to make it mom friendly (posh private nursing areas and $5 kid crafts) its tough to sit in on a workshop with a 3 year old on your lap. Also it can get kind of congested at peak times, so just like we try our darnedest not to bring them to the mall…. the same applies here.
6. This one won’t be long. Don’t bring your husbands. They won’t have fun and you won’t either. They do have a cash bar there, if you bring the mister one or both of you will end up spending your entire time at the bar.
7. GIRL POWER!! Its so fun and empowering to be around all of these women entrepreneurs who are not only making a name for themselves, but also sharing their creativity with the rest of us. And while yes Pinterest is technically gender neutral we can all admit that the site caters mostly to women. Thus their conference does the same. A great number of the vendors are local to your area, so purchasing from them is not only supporting a female owned businesses but also your local community. One day Code Name: Mama will have a booth!

All in all go! Make the time, its a two day gig. You can spend on day shopping and another day crafting. It was such a fun me day and I can’t wait for next year.

❤

A woman’s hair is her glory… until…

So in a nutshell one of my best friend’s contracted lice in her house, and it like took over her life and our conversations for a week. I wanted her to share because its pretty funny and honest. Its also important to note that she now rocks a pixie cut instead of her bum length hair. So round of applause for our guest blogger Laura Myers.

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*Disclaimer: May cause the heebie jeebies*

The Discovery

So there we were; about to sit down for a nice meal at my mother in law’s house, when my innocent web search asking why my daughter was scratching her head, forever changed my life. Okay week. It forever changed my week. Every page, blog post, and heading suggested the same horrifying thing: Your kid probably has lice. After sneaking her up to the bathroom and peering into her little itchy scalp, I realized our truth – that myself and my two sweet baby girls were infested with crawling, breeding, blood-sucking parasites. It was NOT okay. NOT okay… I had moments in the days that followed where I considered purchasing and finishing an entire case of beer or a pack of cigarettes completely by myself.

Here’s the breakdown of my week with lice:

On Sunday, after The Discovery on my 5 year old, I knew it meant that inevitably her sister (2 years old) and I had them too. I mean personal space is not a thing in our house. The hubs and I immediately skipped lunch and went directly to Walgreen’s and dropped about $70 on Rid. I have thick hair down to my butt, so I needed a whole bottle just to myself. The girls have shoulder length hair. Hubsy started throwing all of their small stuffed animals, bedding, blankets, jackets, and anything on the floor of their room and our vehicles in the laundry. Take a moment to let that sink in. If you go to your child’s room right now, how many items are on the floor or bed? What all came into contact with their hair? It all needed to be washed in hot and dried in hot. ALL OF IT. We did probably 50 loads, no exaggerating. The bigger stuffed animals, extra pillows, and comforters got sealed in trash bags and stuck them in an unused basement shower for two weeks. We kept it bare bones for a while, only using a few pillows and blankets that could easily be laundered several times.

Once laundry was rolling, we put on the football game and started the shampooing process. I mention this because the game was starting when we started and ended as we finished, so this took about 4 hours. I followed the box instructions and left the Rid shampoo on 10 minutes, no longer, and nit combed. I used a bowl of white distilled vinegar to dip the comb in, and would dump it outside from time to time because I was worried that flushing the hair would clog the toilet. Anything that was tossed in the garbage, I sealed in a Ziploc first.

The 5 year old was the worst. I have never felt so disgusted in my life as I did pulling those nasty bugs out of her beautiful hair, and I have a certain bestie/blogger who watches pimple popping on Instagram for kicks (ahem). Lice are no joke. They are revolting little demons that don’t deserve to live, and yes, MANY lice were killed in the making of this post. The toddler wasn’t too bad, and I was the least infested; however, the hubs didn’t comb every single hair because he literally couldn’t, so who knows how many I actually had. My only saving grace was that I use T-Gel shampoo anyway because I have a dry scalp, and I read online that lice don’t like coal tar. Who knew dandruff could be a good thing? Anyway, after I was done with the 5 year old, we dunked her head in big bowl of white distilled vinegar because my father in law said that was the way they used to handle it “in the olden days.” DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. It turned out to be a HUGE mistake. She immediately started screaming at the top off her lungs and we had to rush her to the bath to rinse it out. She had red marks all over her face and neck afterwards. I ended up finding out through one of my million web searches that we should have diluted it with water. About 50/50 apparently. Whoops! Mommy fail #341 of that week. I spared the little one after the first kiddo’s reaction. Finally, at the end of that night and every night thereafter, I washed everything we wore including the towels, sprayed lice killer again, and boiled and/or froze all utensils and hair accessories we used.

On Monday  I started googling things like, “am I a bad mother?” and “how to give yourself a pixie cut.” I couldn’t sleep at all. When I finally did lie down, I would feel things crawl all over me and I would wind up back on the lice-sprayed couch researching habitable planets without lice and the cost to get there.

On Tuesday we tried the homeopathic Licefree spray and nit combed with a metal comb purchased separately at Walgreens. It was fancy and had a light and magnifying glass, but it basically ended up being junk. My official recommendation is to use Rid, but find a nice, long-toothed metal nit comb. The plastic blue Rid combs don’t do the trick. I loved the one in the Licefree bottle, and, if heaven forbid this ever happens again, I would buy Licefree just to toss the product and use the comb. I say toss the produce because it had a licorice-esque smell to it, so after using it on a lunch hour one day, I felt like everyone knew my dirty louse-y secret. Furthermore, after I used it twice, the hubs STILL FOUND A LIVE-KICKING-FREAKING-LOUSE IN MY HAIR! Naturally, instead of waiting the 7-10 days to re-shampoo as instructed on the Rid bottle, I ran all 3 of us back through the whole Rid process again, only this time we used shower caps and let that poison sit there, burning our scalps, eyes, and necks for an hour. I was ready to rock the Britney circa 2007 hairstyle and own it. We were all fine though. No bald spots, no scarring. After a couple days of blow-drying 3 heads, my arms were so sore that I could barely load the printer with paper. The girls were starting to get dry flaky scalps, which made nit-hunting all the more difficult, so we added tea tree moisturizing cream rinse and oil spray to help offset the issue.

By Wednesday no more vile parasites were found, and by Thursday I couldn’t find a nit. We continued the daily T-Gel/tea tree oil/nit-combing/blow-drying process daily and did the final Rid shampoo with shower caps and nit combed the following Sunday. We didn’t blow dry that night because online instructions warned that Rid may be flammable, plus we were exhausted and our scalps hurt. The hubs said he thought he may have seen a few open egg sacs, but no fresh nits, nymphs or lice were found. Just to be certain, I rinsed each individual’s hair in the plugged bathtub so that I could check the water afterwards.

I have added the tea tree oil as a daily regiment for life because we all like the smell and it apparently works as a natural repellent for lice. Plus, it makes our hair shiny and hydrated when used with the coconut spray. I feel like a better solution would be to just NEVER GET FREAKING LICE AGAIN! But I digress…

You might be thinking that this is overkill, but I assure you, it isn’t. I chose to come clean to a few close friends, and they all did the same things when they found themselves in that situation. One family had to do it twice because the little buggers found their way back after all of that, and they had about 5 yards of hair in their house! My daycare said if everyone did half of what I did, lice wouldn’t be an issue. Having my kids get lice did something to me psychologically. I was physically and mentally drained from the late nights, but I was way too ashamed to complain about WHY I was tired when I was at work. Truly, I felt responsible and got ALL up in my feelings about it. It consumed me. I simply cannot overstate the self inflicted stress and humiliation this caused. I was worried my children would be labelled as unclean or unfortunate.

At the end of the longest week ever, and after about $200 spent on every product even lightly suggested online, I truly wish I could offer some comforting words to anyone going through this, but really, the whole thing absolutely “sucked” and I feel like I will forever be terrified until the kids are out of elementary school. So thankful for my man who literally nit-picked every night with love. Even when it was over, I would ask the hubs to check me, and he did every time without complaint. I don’t know how single moms deal with this, but those ladies are to be revered and praised! There was just one last step we did every day and that was to pray aloud, “Dear Lord, please kill every louse in this house, every louse on our heads, every louse in our cars, every louse in our lives, and never EVER let us get lice again.”

AMEN!!!

Pretty Woman

I’m sure most of you have all seen this meme floating around social media by now. I had to grab this off of the good ol internet and talk about it. This meme is pretty self explanatory, you add up all the points next to each description to see how high maintenance you are.  When this was sent to me it was posed more as a meter for before you had children and after. My before score was 65. Somewhere between the “Really High Maintenance” and “You’re freaking Queen of Your Castle”. I’ll call it “Very Well Maintained”. However, my after children score is 12. That’s right……………… 1 2……. a full 53 point drop. Wait can I add only 5 points from the massages question? I mean I got 2 massages this year! Ehhh probably not, i’ll just stick with my 12.

So most of time we think that as moms we loose this sense of self because we are devoting our entire being to this amazing little cherubs so we have zero time to take care of ourselves. I mean how could we, we’ve got their sports schedules, the PTA, conference calls, budget meetings, play dates, bake sales, birthday parties and soooo much more. That may be the case for some but for me me it really boils down to one thing. M O N E Y. I would absolutely have a 100 point score if I could (actually only 86 because I don’t spray tan and I think permanent make up is weird) but my children don’t suck the life out of me, they suck the money. My daughter’s shoes that were bought in June are already too small, picture day just happened, I’ve got to get 3 Halloween costumes and I have to pay for my car registration. So a trip to Sephora is not in my future. And that’s how I feel like it goes more often than not. I just wanted those of us who desired to be higher on this list to be represented appropriately. I totally care about my presentation, but its an expensive one that I can’t afford right now. Old Navy is my life line at this point.

❤