Sunday Recipe

Sunday means recipes!!!! There is no long caption needed….. This is Hoisin Sriracha Beef Meatball dish is
DELICIOUS!!!!! You should try it!!!

Hoisin Sriracha Beef Meatballs

You are seen

I haven’t blogged in a while because of…. well…. life. So for this post I am going to repost this open letter first blogged by Jessica Satterfield from the blog Grace While We Wait. She is one of my favorite bloggers and she has such a beautiful ministry. All mamas are important. Working mamas, single mamas, adoptive mamas, stay at home mamas. But today’s post is dedicated to working mamas. You all are no less dedicated to your family than any one else. You are seen.

So without further adieu, I give you Dear Working Mama:

I’m so proud of you.

I watch you hit your alarm clock three times every morning and fumble out of the bed. Your exhausted feet hit the floor and you know you won’t be off them until you fall into the bed again at night. You rush to get ready. Throw on your clothes. Look in the mirror, and wonder if you can make it through another day. 

You dread waking up your sleeping baby to brave the bitter cold. After you put all the bags in the car, her bags, your bags, lunches, and who knows what else, you stand there and hold her. Yes. You’re running late, again. But you breathe in her scent because it will be the last time for 7 hours. 

You strap her so tight in the car seat she might as well be going to the moon. You pull out of the garage and check the “going out the door” list in your head before you close it. And you’re off. 

You sing to me all the way to work and I love it! She’s listening to you and although they’re just babbles, you’re teaching her to love me. I know you feel stuck sometimes and wonder if what you do really matters. Sweet mama, it does. 

I watch your heart break every time you walk into the sitter’s house. Not because she isn’t wonderful, but because she isn’t you. She’s the one who gets to hear a belly laugh and see a squishy smile all day. You’ll have to share your sweet girl with so many over the years. Do it graciously. I’m written all over her little life.  

I hear the prayers you pray for her as you walk out the door. Don’t worry, Mama. I know you love her more than your heart has words for, but she was mine first. I know when you get in the car, you put on a different face. Your work face. I know you’re trying your best! I see how hard you work, even when you feel no one else does. All the meetings, meltdowns, expectations, and pressure. It’s a lot. Too much sometimes. And you can’t stay there all day and night making the newest, best lessons anymore. You have to budget your time and use it wisely now. You might not be on all the committees like you used to, but I watch you love. And I love that more. I’m so proud of you. 

I hear you whisper to me throughout your day. I know you can’t wait to retreat with me, but I’m here now. I give you those super powers when you feel like you can’t make it until bedtime. 

You’ve learned that perfect looks a little different now. So it’s okay to leave when you still haven’t graded those papers. You’ve done Kingdom work today and your day is only half way over. It’s time to put your mama face back on.

You run up the steps to pick up your sweet girl. I love watching you with her. I had your family planned out from the beginning of time, and I love watching my beautiful plans. 

You glance at the mirror, still shocked even after a year, that your daughter is asleep in the car seat. I love your grateful heart.

We went through a lot to get her there, didn’t we? 

I hear you make all the phone calls in the car. Because not only do you work during the day, you’re a mom, but you also pay bills, make appointments, and work out the schedule for your little family. Everyone depends on you. And I love how you depend on me.

I hear you mentally go through the “what to do when I get home” list. It’s so much. Unpack all the bags. Repack all the bags. Iron your clothes, her clothes, his clothes. Lay them out. Pack lunches. Cook supper. Clean up from supper. And that’s a day you have at home. That’s a day without a meeting or appointment, so you have extra time.

And although you have all of that to do, I’m so proud that she comes first. You know how fast she grows up. And tomorrow, she won’t be this little. So I watch you get in the floor with her. You play, read, and sing the Bumblebee song. You are doing Kingdom work, Mama. I am so proud of you.

When he gets home. Everyone’s day is better! Now, he’s the one who comes first. I see you fail him, but I also know your heart. And you really long to love him like I do. Your imperfect marriage is so beautiful to me. You both are putting the Gospel on display, and she is watching.

I watch you glance at the clock. Because for now, life runs on time. And your days just don’t seem to have enough. Someone starts to get cranky and it’s time for a bath and bed. It’s okay when you feel guilty that you’re glad. I give you just enough energy to make it through the splashes and tantrums. And I hear every word you softly sing over her. I am already answering those prayers for her. Mama, you just wait to see what I do in her life. And you will be a part of it. I laugh sometimes when you dose off. And then other days, I want to come down from heaven and carry you to YOUR bed.

The “things I have to do today” list is almost complete. And even after all of that, you still come meet me on the white couch. It’s my favorite time of day. I get all of you. I understand that you can barely hold your eyes open, but Mama, my Truth is just the refreshment you need. My Word is the energy you need to love hard tomorrow. You serve so many all day, and you need me to serve you. This is how I do it. I love on you through my Word. And all I need you to do it open it. I’ll do the rest. And I’ll give you rest. You’re learning to dance with me, and you’re getting really good.

I watch you melt in the shower and wash the day away. You fall into the sheets that you will all too soon stumble out of. And I sing over you and pray for you while you slumber. You did more Kingdom work today than you will ever know, sweet Mama.

And you will never know how proud I am of you.

❤

 

#zumba #honesty

I tried Zumba Toning the other night. Here’s a quick list of things I learned about myself while in this class:

1. Just because I grew up dancing does not mean I’d be good at Zumba

– I did about 16 years of dance growing up and just knew that this would totally up my alley. I went with a friend and I was ready to show her the dancing ropes. Ummm yeah no. The rhythms and steps are not the same as ballet or halftime dance routines for high school football games. I immediately had two left feet and not beat in my head.

2. I have zero rhythm now (I blame the children)

– There are only so many times you can choreograph a full Broadway review to I’m A Little Teapot or The Wheels on The Bus without losing some of your juice.

3. My hip hop dancing dreams are over

– When I am in the car, I am basically at Studio 54 or Jennifer Lopez circa In Living Color. I dance my little heart out. I am convinced this is how I would go viral in life. And I have this dream that I could somehow become a 30 something back up dancer. I’d light up the stage and give Beyoncé a run for her money. But then I went to Zumba and I will never have that dream again.

4. I danced MUCH harder when I remembered I had a Sprinkles cupcake waiting for me at home

– Where I live the closest Sprinkles cup cake shop is about 45 minutes away. This is an abomination to my sister who can pop over to one within minutes. The mister happens to do a lot of work near the 45 minutes away Sprinkles, so sometimes when he remembers, he will bring me one of those glorious little cakes. So, I had a cinnamon with no icing cupcake sitting in the spice cabinet waiting for me. FYI, it was hidden in the spice cabinet so the children couldn’t find it.  And about 30 minutes into the session, I had this realization! And I gave it alllllll I had…….. just to earn that reward when I got home.

5. I don’t think I am as good at sex as I thought I was.

– I am so serious! Sex is about hips right; my hips do not move like that instructor!! I couldn’t even make them move like hers if I wanted to!! I mean I have three children so I’m sure I am doing something right, but good grief. Maybe the mister has been lying to me. The instructor could get low and whip it all around. I was so stiff. She kept telling us to shake and pop it and I almost had to raise my hand and ask her how to achieve that. Maybe I’ll ask next class.

But all in all, I really enjoyed Zumba. I can see how women flock to this way of working out. Mainly its fun. Actually, A LOT of fun. You all look ridiculous, you’re laughing and its oddly super empowering. No one is trying to lift more than another or run faster, you are all on the same playing field and it was really refreshing. So, try Zumba if you haven’t already (I realize I am like a decade late on the trend) and potentially see dreams die, realizations made and major fun had!!

❤

 

 

 

Obligatory New Year Post

Happy New Year!!!

Okay so obviously we’re a few days into 2018 buuuutttt I feel like as long as I am in the month of January (okay maybe even February) its perfectly fine to wish people a happy new year.

So what are is everyone’s new years resolutions?! Goals??? Did anyone make any?? If you didn’t, don’t feel bad because I didn’t make any. Well I didn’t make any at first. To be honest I am not fond of writing down goals. I know that like flies in the face in Ted Talks, corporate seminars, and every Pinterest support board. But I DO NOT like to sit down every year and write down 10 goals. As a matter of fact I don’t even do it at work. I tell my boss when it comes to our quarterly goals, I will either copy old ones or just make up some general ones. I see friends of mine who year after year post their goals on January 1st and will post the completed goals (with footnotes) on December 31st. And I have so many feelings about that. One feeling is that maybe they are just stunting for the gram and another feeling is definitely an envious one because I would never be able to keep up with a sheet of paper for 365 days.

Why am I not in sync with goal writing? Because I am afraid of failure. And I suffer from intense tunnel vision. So I feel like if I write a goal I will zero in on one thing and not focus on any other goals until that particular one has been completed. Or if a goal morphs or starts not going the way I think it should I will have a nervous break down because I cannot see a way out of this “goal hell” I have created.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a very driven person. It is the fabric of my being. I push my self to do better and be better. I do not like being mediocre and I try to make sure that I say yes 90% of the time and deliver big time on my promise. However, I am super mental about it.

But…..

While talking to my sister over New Years, she convinced me to put pen to paper this year and try and form some sort of list that I can check off for 2018. So I have resolved to give resolutions a try. The definition of resolution is to make a firm decision to do or not to do something. So here on my resolutions: To say ‘no’ more, complain less, blog more, and stress less.

Those might be a little general yes but at least I started somewhere. These are very attainable for me and I will report back on my 2018 progress to tell you all how I am doing. Whatever you have chosen to do this year with your goals and plans, I hope they make you happy and you are a better person by the end of the year because of them.

❤

Guilty

My favorite way to relax hands down is by getting my toes and nails done. I stick my head phones in and don’t talk to A N Y O N E. I have been going to the same salon for about four years, so they totally know I’m the client who only wants to be bothered when its absolutely necessary. I’m also a creature of habit so I get the same thing done when I go thus I am fully aware of the drill like when its time to wash my hands. When my nails are being attended, I read magazines and toe time is for sleeping or more magazines. Its seriously a nice hour and a half of Utopia. But on the drive home the guilt sets in. I don’t want to get caught…. by….. my sitter.

First of all my sitter is an ANGEL. This woman was literally sent from God to our family. She is the sweetest and my littles love her. Which makes me feel totally ashamed when I show up with the classic pedicure flip flops on. **To my other best friend who watched our middle child for close to a year, you are an angel and the sweetest too and a godsend as well. I know you’re reading this**. I’ve actually been blessed with pretty great sitters throughout this little kid time in my life and I felt this guilt with all of them (except the one who was terrible) because in my head I feel like they’re thinking “I wish I didn’t have to watch your snotty nosed kids and could get a mani/pedi. But no I had to stay here and sit for your kids who literally think they’re in a rock band.” Just a heads up, my kids noses are wiped often and very rarely snotty. The rock band part is true though.

I get my mani/pedi’s (when money allows) biweekly either while I’m on lunch (I have no problem showing back up at work with fresh nails) or if I have the time, leave a little early and get to the salon before I head home. My job is what we in our small town call “in town”. The drive is about 25 minutes, if there’s no traffic, with nothing but wild horses in between. Its a totally planned out thing, I try to make sure I have flip flops in my car to change into and on the car ride home, I put the car AC blower on my feet for faster drying. I never have time to sit and wait for my toes to dry at the salon because I am always on the go. I try not to show up with the flimsy salon sandals because I want my sitter to know that she is totally cherished and I am not taking advantage of her. Its just super convenient to take care of myself while the kids are already taken care of.

I feel like that is the working-outside-of-the-home mom’s dilemma though. Being plagued by the pull of making sure that our kids aren’t spending too much time with someone else but also needing to fit in taking care of ourselves. Most of us are doing the right thing by taking that extra hour for ourselves or choosing to pick the kids up early. Doing what’s right for our well being is the biggest goal that sometimes feels the least attainable. So at the end of this post I have no inspirational thought or a we can do it mantra… All I have is this 1. to encourage each of you to make sure you do what works for you whether there is guilt involved or not and 2. that I’m going to get my sitter a gift certificate for a mani/ pedi for Christmas.

❤

Pinners Unite!

My sister and I went to the Pinterest Conference. She attended the one in Texas, while I attended in Arizona. Can I just say that it was so epic! Seriously a sight to behold and an event to look forward to each year. Its like the state fair but for women. Below are our pointers/ramblings if you are planning on attending next year.

1. This is an event you can really go to alone or with girlfriends. There is soooooo much to see and do. Whether you are talking to vendors or doing the classes you can talk to someone new the entire time you’re there. Obviously its fun to go with friends, but make sure you guys are on the same page on how you want the experience to be. If you are wanting to take every class and your friend just wants to walk around and peruse, then its probably best to drive desperately and meet up for lunch (food vendors there are great).
2. BRING MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While the entree tickets are quite cheap ($8) and parking is going to depend on the venue, for example, Carmen’s was $20 but mine was $5, you will still need to save those coins for once you walk through those red curtains. Why you might ask? A. You are going to want to buy E V E R Y T H I N G. Most vendors are small business owners and most whose companies are still out of their homes. Therefore they can do some serious discounts. Plus there is such diverse array of products and you can get side tracked easily. B. While the classes are free, the materials are not. Carmen and I both wanted to make this farmhouse candle project (it was a craft at each separate events) but the materials were $35!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um I could have bought one fully made at Home Goods or Hobby Lobby for the same amount. Now obviously since we’re attending the DIY holy grail I understand the concept of spending more money just to say that I made it rather than buy it. But I just wasn’t planning on dropping that kind of cash on top of trying to shop. Most classes materials ranged between the $20 – $40 range.
3.  Ok so I just told you about the classes with expensive ass materials, but I wanted to let you know that they also have some classes that are free and still worth your while to sit in on. I went to a make up class, which was really more about how to keep your skin clear while wearing make-up. It was great and I learned some new techniques. The other one I went to was this lady who was talking about how to declutter your life….. I just need her to follow me around all day. Or at least make a monthly home visit. I also sat in on a couple of the craft workshops as they were finishing up. The speakers are super enthusiastic and know their stuff. I kinda wanted to walk up to a couple of them and ask for their hand in friendship.
4. THE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since Pinterest is all about making the ordinary unique, you can bet your bottom dollar that the food vendors are just as unique. And so good! Y’all I had a duck burger……….. it changed my life.
5. Try your hardest not to bring your kiddos. While the event is free for children under the age of 12 and they do their best to make it mom friendly (posh private nursing areas and $5 kid crafts) its tough to sit in on a workshop with a 3 year old on your lap. Also it can get kind of congested at peak times, so just like we try our darnedest not to bring them to the mall…. the same applies here.
6. This one won’t be long. Don’t bring your husbands. They won’t have fun and you won’t either. They do have a cash bar there, if you bring the mister one or both of you will end up spending your entire time at the bar.
7. GIRL POWER!! Its so fun and empowering to be around all of these women entrepreneurs who are not only making a name for themselves, but also sharing their creativity with the rest of us. And while yes Pinterest is technically gender neutral we can all admit that the site caters mostly to women. Thus their conference does the same. A great number of the vendors are local to your area, so purchasing from them is not only supporting a female owned businesses but also your local community. One day Code Name: Mama will have a booth!

All in all go! Make the time, its a two day gig. You can spend on day shopping and another day crafting. It was such a fun me day and I can’t wait for next year.

❤

Pretty Woman

I’m sure most of you have all seen this meme floating around social media by now. I had to grab this off of the good ol internet and talk about it. This meme is pretty self explanatory, you add up all the points next to each description to see how high maintenance you are.  When this was sent to me it was posed more as a meter for before you had children and after. My before score was 65. Somewhere between the “Really High Maintenance” and “You’re freaking Queen of Your Castle”. I’ll call it “Very Well Maintained”. However, my after children score is 12. That’s right……………… 1 2……. a full 53 point drop. Wait can I add only 5 points from the massages question? I mean I got 2 massages this year! Ehhh probably not, i’ll just stick with my 12.

So most of time we think that as moms we loose this sense of self because we are devoting our entire being to this amazing little cherubs so we have zero time to take care of ourselves. I mean how could we, we’ve got their sports schedules, the PTA, conference calls, budget meetings, play dates, bake sales, birthday parties and soooo much more. That may be the case for some but for me me it really boils down to one thing. M O N E Y. I would absolutely have a 100 point score if I could (actually only 86 because I don’t spray tan and I think permanent make up is weird) but my children don’t suck the life out of me, they suck the money. My daughter’s shoes that were bought in June are already too small, picture day just happened, I’ve got to get 3 Halloween costumes and I have to pay for my car registration. So a trip to Sephora is not in my future. And that’s how I feel like it goes more often than not. I just wanted those of us who desired to be higher on this list to be represented appropriately. I totally care about my presentation, but its an expensive one that I can’t afford right now. Old Navy is my life line at this point.

❤

Inspiration

As a writer I am constantly looking for new things to write about. Always searching for inspiration from my surroundings. Generally I have a lot of ideas formulating in my brain, but remembering them and putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys) is a different story. That’s why I am so excited about these little gems I scooped up from Target today. One of them is a book called Listography and its exactly what is sounds like, a book that you write down your favorite things in list form based on different prompts. I love this idea so much because its just so light, fun, and a great way to remember that restaurant you went to that one time three years ago on vacation. The second book is 300 Writing Prompts and again the title is very self explanatory, you just write the your thoughts on whatever topic asked in a short paragraph. And what a unique way to shake up your me time! Quick fun things that I can glean from to better my writing, get to know myself and keep me off of social media I am totally down for. Plus, they are cute little items to leave to my kids and grandchildren for them to really know what mommy thought about things in life I didn’t always share. Excited to start writing in these with a trustee glass of pinot grigio by side.

❤

It Takes a Village

Yesterday I had to do some adulting. I went to the dermatologist. I am so glad I went but also a smidge sad about it at the same time. Turning 31 has been rough for me physically and mentally. My actual birthday was great. Worked, had flowers delivered, went to meet the teacher night, then went off to dinner and drinks with a friend before we hit the John Mayer concert. And returned to my birthday gift of a kitchen aide mixer from the mister. Seriously not too shabby of a day. The issues I’ve had about turning 31 is my body. I’m about 40 lbs from my goal weight and my face is breaking out like C R A Z Y!!!! I have full on adult acne and I am completely perplexed. I never really had acne when I was a teenager or in college. The occasional white or black head but that’s about it. I had so little skin problems that I rarely wore any kind of foundation. But here I am in my thirties with acne. Hardcore, painful deep acne. I thought since I was getting older I was in the clear! WTF is going on?!

Admittedly, some of this frustration is rooted in vanity. I just feel like I am finally finished having kids, now I want a part of me back and I don’t want to be turning into a troll. Yes I could work out more, my excuse like many, is that I have zero time. Plus I have Lupus which exacerbates my fatigue, so sometimes going to the gym isn’t always appealing. I know that I need to do figure out a plan, because there are only so many whining posts I can write. The skin part is a really tough pill to swallow though. I definitely encourage every one to go to the dermatologist at some point or another. Don’t try to do it by yourself because you could be doing more harm than good. I was surprised by the regime that my doctor put me on for two reasons. The first is that my new face wash and moisturizer is just Cetaphil for acne prone skin. I am that person who can fall into the trap of the pricey-er the item the better it must be. I was getting ready but a $150 skin regime system from Nordstroms just because they were talking about how natural it was and gave me a sample. But thankfully I brought it with me to my appointment and the dermatologist basically said it was a crap product. It had way too much fragrance, acid, and was irritating my face. I’m super excited to be saving money now. Definitely a positive.

The second surprising finding was how long it would take. She said I would start seeing serious improvement in about about 3-4 months. UM WHAT?!?! I have to show my face tomorrow in public lady!!! Christmas card pictures are supposed to be taken in that time frame. I can’t slap my kids on the cards like I did last year to get out of showing my eight month postpartum body. As you can probably tell from reading thus far, I was looking for a quick fix. A fix that I can’t have. After calling the mister (who’s comfort technique needs a little work) I called my best  friend, sister and mother to get the female comfort I was clearly fishing for. They pulled me from my depths of despair so that I could think logically about the fact that this wasn’t that serious in the grand scheme of things. I took time for my body to get all hormonal and its going to take time for it to right it self out again.

Personally, I don’t like the phrase “My husband and my kids think I look good so that’s all that matters.” Its not all that matters ladies, what you think about yourself matters to. Not in a comparative sense but making sure you feel comfortable in your own skin. You’re the one who has to live with your powerful thoughts, so make sure they’re good ones about yourself. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin so I made an appointment with the dermatologist. I am a firm believer in using a village to help you through life and be your best self. Maybe your village includes a chiropractor, therapist and your wax lady. Which is awesome. Take the time to grow your village for yourself to squeeze everything you can from life.

❤