Self Care

SELF CARE!!!!! I haven’t bought bras for myself in YEARS. I have finally been at the point where my sagging, stretched out bras were causing me back pain because they just weren’t holding the girls up anymore. So guess what? I took my three year old and I went and got new bras so I could take care of ME. Self care isn’t always about getting away or having a glass of wine. Self care can be just as simple as taking the time to make sure you have the right size bras to ease aches and pains. Make sure your self essentials are taken care of so you can take care of others.

❤️

Sunday Recipe

Sunday means recipes!!!! There is no long caption needed….. This is Hoisin Sriracha Beef Meatball dish is
DELICIOUS!!!!! You should try it!!!

Hoisin Sriracha Beef Meatballs

True Words

On our Instagram page we discussed a young Texas mother who died and had known struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety. Currently the specific reasons for her death are unknown but sadly it appears that her mental state with postpartum depression may have played a cause in her death. We pray for her daughter who has lost her mother and her husband who has lost his partner in life.

My sister recently discussed her struggles with the kind of emotional state that can sometimes befall many women once they have a baby. So much happens to your body and soul when you bring a human into the world. To dear friends who have gone through the experience of loosing a child during or after pregnancy and endure the sometimes overwhelming postpartum mental states without a child to hold in your arms; your strength is the very essence of motherhood.

We all have a had a journey into motherhood that was vastly different than anothers. My sister and I have two very unique paths as well and but each an experience with postpartum depression and anxiety. While some, like my sister Carmen, experienced it with their first child, I did not have any such experience until my third (a daughter) child was born. My daughter came into the world completely unexpectedly. She was month early and we were smack in the middle of closing on our first purchase house. Plus our oldest son was on spring break and our middle son was only a year and a half old. Talk about chaos. I have to admit that I tried to block much of that time out of my mind because… well…. guilt. But I remember a significant amount of crying. I CRIED MY FACE OFF ALLLLL THE TIME. I just remember it did not matter where I was or who I was with, I just cried. I felt overwhelmed all the time, I thought I would not be able to be a good my because I wasn’t strong enough and there where people who could do it so much better than I. Maybe my husband could find someone better for them, than what I could give. I called my mother and basically told her that I couldn’t do this and she needed to come help my husband with the children.

The few friends I shared my plight with, in well meaning ways, essentially told me to give it time. That I was a great mother and my kids needed me. The mister definitely did not understand. He tried, very hard, and he never rushed me or chided me but he just could not understand. And honestly most men can’t. But when I started being unable to sleep well (as much as you can with an infant) and couldn’t get out of the bed to tend to the other children, he encouraged me to get help.

My first step was anti depressants from my doctor but those made me worse. Finally, I talked myself into therapy. Something I had always considered an option for the rich and or weak minded. Even the mister who was always keen on the idea either, decidedly made it apoint to find the right therapist with me so I could get help. He needed me, he needed his partner, wife, lover, friend and mother of his children back. But I finally found a doctor who listened and let me weep and helped me heal. He gave me the mantra you see above to say four times a day for a month. “I am an awesome and worthwhile person who deserves to be loved first by me and then by others.” I will tell you it helped so much. It seemed that it was going to be lame but positive words are water for the soul. After four months twice a week sessions, I started to feel like myself again and I knew God gave those three sweet children to me for a reason. Maybe those words are not for you but I hope they do. As you can see I have carried them with me the past two years as needed reassurance. The card maybe worn but the words are true.

Find your words that are true to help you be your best true self.

❤

 

You are seen

I haven’t blogged in a while because of…. well…. life. So for this post I am going to repost this open letter first blogged by Jessica Satterfield from the blog Grace While We Wait. She is one of my favorite bloggers and she has such a beautiful ministry. All mamas are important. Working mamas, single mamas, adoptive mamas, stay at home mamas. But today’s post is dedicated to working mamas. You all are no less dedicated to your family than any one else. You are seen.

So without further adieu, I give you Dear Working Mama:

I’m so proud of you.

I watch you hit your alarm clock three times every morning and fumble out of the bed. Your exhausted feet hit the floor and you know you won’t be off them until you fall into the bed again at night. You rush to get ready. Throw on your clothes. Look in the mirror, and wonder if you can make it through another day. 

You dread waking up your sleeping baby to brave the bitter cold. After you put all the bags in the car, her bags, your bags, lunches, and who knows what else, you stand there and hold her. Yes. You’re running late, again. But you breathe in her scent because it will be the last time for 7 hours. 

You strap her so tight in the car seat she might as well be going to the moon. You pull out of the garage and check the “going out the door” list in your head before you close it. And you’re off. 

You sing to me all the way to work and I love it! She’s listening to you and although they’re just babbles, you’re teaching her to love me. I know you feel stuck sometimes and wonder if what you do really matters. Sweet mama, it does. 

I watch your heart break every time you walk into the sitter’s house. Not because she isn’t wonderful, but because she isn’t you. She’s the one who gets to hear a belly laugh and see a squishy smile all day. You’ll have to share your sweet girl with so many over the years. Do it graciously. I’m written all over her little life.  

I hear the prayers you pray for her as you walk out the door. Don’t worry, Mama. I know you love her more than your heart has words for, but she was mine first. I know when you get in the car, you put on a different face. Your work face. I know you’re trying your best! I see how hard you work, even when you feel no one else does. All the meetings, meltdowns, expectations, and pressure. It’s a lot. Too much sometimes. And you can’t stay there all day and night making the newest, best lessons anymore. You have to budget your time and use it wisely now. You might not be on all the committees like you used to, but I watch you love. And I love that more. I’m so proud of you. 

I hear you whisper to me throughout your day. I know you can’t wait to retreat with me, but I’m here now. I give you those super powers when you feel like you can’t make it until bedtime. 

You’ve learned that perfect looks a little different now. So it’s okay to leave when you still haven’t graded those papers. You’ve done Kingdom work today and your day is only half way over. It’s time to put your mama face back on.

You run up the steps to pick up your sweet girl. I love watching you with her. I had your family planned out from the beginning of time, and I love watching my beautiful plans. 

You glance at the mirror, still shocked even after a year, that your daughter is asleep in the car seat. I love your grateful heart.

We went through a lot to get her there, didn’t we? 

I hear you make all the phone calls in the car. Because not only do you work during the day, you’re a mom, but you also pay bills, make appointments, and work out the schedule for your little family. Everyone depends on you. And I love how you depend on me.

I hear you mentally go through the “what to do when I get home” list. It’s so much. Unpack all the bags. Repack all the bags. Iron your clothes, her clothes, his clothes. Lay them out. Pack lunches. Cook supper. Clean up from supper. And that’s a day you have at home. That’s a day without a meeting or appointment, so you have extra time.

And although you have all of that to do, I’m so proud that she comes first. You know how fast she grows up. And tomorrow, she won’t be this little. So I watch you get in the floor with her. You play, read, and sing the Bumblebee song. You are doing Kingdom work, Mama. I am so proud of you.

When he gets home. Everyone’s day is better! Now, he’s the one who comes first. I see you fail him, but I also know your heart. And you really long to love him like I do. Your imperfect marriage is so beautiful to me. You both are putting the Gospel on display, and she is watching.

I watch you glance at the clock. Because for now, life runs on time. And your days just don’t seem to have enough. Someone starts to get cranky and it’s time for a bath and bed. It’s okay when you feel guilty that you’re glad. I give you just enough energy to make it through the splashes and tantrums. And I hear every word you softly sing over her. I am already answering those prayers for her. Mama, you just wait to see what I do in her life. And you will be a part of it. I laugh sometimes when you dose off. And then other days, I want to come down from heaven and carry you to YOUR bed.

The “things I have to do today” list is almost complete. And even after all of that, you still come meet me on the white couch. It’s my favorite time of day. I get all of you. I understand that you can barely hold your eyes open, but Mama, my Truth is just the refreshment you need. My Word is the energy you need to love hard tomorrow. You serve so many all day, and you need me to serve you. This is how I do it. I love on you through my Word. And all I need you to do it open it. I’ll do the rest. And I’ll give you rest. You’re learning to dance with me, and you’re getting really good.

I watch you melt in the shower and wash the day away. You fall into the sheets that you will all too soon stumble out of. And I sing over you and pray for you while you slumber. You did more Kingdom work today than you will ever know, sweet Mama.

And you will never know how proud I am of you.

❤

 

Rose and Bee

I just wanted to give a quick shout out to this great mama owned company (you know we support our mamas) called Rose and Bee Organics.  I met them and bought a few of their products at the Pinterest Conference here in Arizona. These handcrafted products manifesto is Organic Crap Free Skincare by Two Moms Who Give A Crap. and I am so down for that! 

I recently bought the Peppermint body butter and it is divine.  Think of Land O Lakes whipped butter consistency with a hint of Peppermint. Just a little dollop of the body butter and it effortlessly glides and melts into your skin. This super moisturizing product is great for the winter or us desert living folk in dry climates. 

One of my favorite perks about this product is the subtle peppermint scent. Sometimes I don’t wear traditional perfume because the body butter does the trick and I get so many compliments from it. I also rub some on my shoulders, neck and decolletage area before bed because the mister says it’s my new signature scent and he loves that aroma as he goes to sleep. 

In addition to skin care items, Rose and Bee also make these beautiful wood and floral wall decor peices that adds a quaint charm to any space. All of their products would make for great gifts this holiday season. So go check these mamas out and show them what the Code Name: Mama community is all about!

❤

Guilty

My favorite way to relax hands down is by getting my toes and nails done. I stick my head phones in and don’t talk to A N Y O N E. I have been going to the same salon for about four years, so they totally know I’m the client who only wants to be bothered when its absolutely necessary. I’m also a creature of habit so I get the same thing done when I go thus I am fully aware of the drill like when its time to wash my hands. When my nails are being attended, I read magazines and toe time is for sleeping or more magazines. Its seriously a nice hour and a half of Utopia. But on the drive home the guilt sets in. I don’t want to get caught…. by….. my sitter.

First of all my sitter is an ANGEL. This woman was literally sent from God to our family. She is the sweetest and my littles love her. Which makes me feel totally ashamed when I show up with the classic pedicure flip flops on. **To my other best friend who watched our middle child for close to a year, you are an angel and the sweetest too and a godsend as well. I know you’re reading this**. I’ve actually been blessed with pretty great sitters throughout this little kid time in my life and I felt this guilt with all of them (except the one who was terrible) because in my head I feel like they’re thinking “I wish I didn’t have to watch your snotty nosed kids and could get a mani/pedi. But no I had to stay here and sit for your kids who literally think they’re in a rock band.” Just a heads up, my kids noses are wiped often and very rarely snotty. The rock band part is true though.

I get my mani/pedi’s (when money allows) biweekly either while I’m on lunch (I have no problem showing back up at work with fresh nails) or if I have the time, leave a little early and get to the salon before I head home. My job is what we in our small town call “in town”. The drive is about 25 minutes, if there’s no traffic, with nothing but wild horses in between. Its a totally planned out thing, I try to make sure I have flip flops in my car to change into and on the car ride home, I put the car AC blower on my feet for faster drying. I never have time to sit and wait for my toes to dry at the salon because I am always on the go. I try not to show up with the flimsy salon sandals because I want my sitter to know that she is totally cherished and I am not taking advantage of her. Its just super convenient to take care of myself while the kids are already taken care of.

I feel like that is the working-outside-of-the-home mom’s dilemma though. Being plagued by the pull of making sure that our kids aren’t spending too much time with someone else but also needing to fit in taking care of ourselves. Most of us are doing the right thing by taking that extra hour for ourselves or choosing to pick the kids up early. Doing what’s right for our well being is the biggest goal that sometimes feels the least attainable. So at the end of this post I have no inspirational thought or a we can do it mantra… All I have is this 1. to encourage each of you to make sure you do what works for you whether there is guilt involved or not and 2. that I’m going to get my sitter a gift certificate for a mani/ pedi for Christmas.

❤

Inspiration

As a writer I am constantly looking for new things to write about. Always searching for inspiration from my surroundings. Generally I have a lot of ideas formulating in my brain, but remembering them and putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys) is a different story. That’s why I am so excited about these little gems I scooped up from Target today. One of them is a book called Listography and its exactly what is sounds like, a book that you write down your favorite things in list form based on different prompts. I love this idea so much because its just so light, fun, and a great way to remember that restaurant you went to that one time three years ago on vacation. The second book is 300 Writing Prompts and again the title is very self explanatory, you just write the your thoughts on whatever topic asked in a short paragraph. And what a unique way to shake up your me time! Quick fun things that I can glean from to better my writing, get to know myself and keep me off of social media I am totally down for. Plus, they are cute little items to leave to my kids and grandchildren for them to really know what mommy thought about things in life I didn’t always share. Excited to start writing in these with a trustee glass of pinot grigio by side.

❤

Not another beauty post

LOOK AT ALL OF THESE SAMPLES!!!! For a person who doesn’t where a lot of make up, I am a beauty product junkie!! Because of that, samples are a great way for me to get the experience of trying some thing new before I buy. Sephora, Ulta, Nordstroms and Bend Soap Company is where I got these gems, and while this post is not a review about any of them, I will say that I would recommend anything you see here.

Most of the time I get my testers while on lunch or meandering through the mall during Saturday errands when I miraculously do not have a child at my hip. This particular haul was from mall hang out time with a friend. When I got home I sent a excitedly sent a picture to another friend of mine because, well… duh that’s what one does when they come home from the mall. “I feel uncomfortable asking for samples, but I know I need to just do it” was her unexpected response to my text. “You’re coming with me next time, and we’re getting you any tester you want” was my reply.  Then more texting about husbands and kids ensued. But her initial response got me to thinking, how many things are we afraid to ask for in life?

For the record, I am a way bolder in my adult life than I used to be. I began to feel the shift around 28 and then when I turned 30, I really felt like I had officially found my adult voice or stance. I wish I could tell you that it was motherhood that made me feel like this whole person or gave me this “I am woman hear me roar” mentality. But it did not. What motherhood gave me was a “I am mama bear hear me roar” mentality, which was to my surprise, very different from the woman one. Being able to verbalize what I needed as woman in various capacities, employee, spouse, friend etc. did not come naturally. Learning how to speak my mind and handle people disliking what I had to say or saying no was TERRIFYING. What if’s, worry, and overall anxiety would flood my mind and I started to limit myself internally. Two things happened to me that brought me into my own 1. Life 2. Therapy.

Sometimes there can be a stigma associated with being a bold outspoken woman. Often it elicits the image of a sassy, neck rolling, stubborn, bitchy lady. I obviously wanted to be none of those. Once I fully grasp that how I wanted my communication to work for me and that it would not look like someone elses, I was finally able to speak my mind within my own personality. I am freer and happier for it too. If I hadn’t found my true roar, I wouldn’t be able to write this blog nor ask for gnarly beauty samples.

❤

Birkenstocks

In 1966 Birkenstocks were introduced to the United States and the comfortable shoe market has never been the same.

But seriously… who has a pair of these sandals?!?! They are amazing right??

I am aware that Birks are very popular right now. So I am glad my podiatrist suggested that I start wearing them to help my semi flat feet and back pain. These sandals are based on a design that started in 1774 using firm, orthopedically correct support. On Health.com, the shoe is listed as the number two best sandal for your feet according to podiatrists. The Washington Post also featured an article on why finding the right comfort shoe is so important, and listed Birkenstocks as a great shoe try without having to get custom orthopedics. Basically I’m just trying to tell you not to take my word on their greatness; but know that there is actual science behind them.

There are a couple of down sides to Birks. But not enough to keep me from recommending them. The first down side is that they can be quite uncomfortable when you first start wearing them. Odd, I know… But what this shoe does is actually mold to your foot. Thus, they have to be “broken in” if you will. Once they start for form to your feet you will be able to see a marked difference. I wore my first pair for about five days straight and I could feel them getting better every time I put them on.

Second is the price point. Birkenstocks can be pretty pricey, especially when you have back to school supplies and diapers to buy. Most of the traditional sandals start at around $100. That can definitely be quite an undertaking on the family budget so I would not suggest  getting a couple of pairs up front. Buy a pair and see how they work for you. For me they are an investment that I was inclined to make as I am on my feet all day at work, and then running around with kids and pets when I get home. Plus, I have some health issues that make the proper daily support vital.

Another huge selling point for me is the versatility of the sandal. I can switch from wearing jeans, a skirt, or a dress with Birks and they make the outfit cute and unique every time. You can’t always do that with sneakers or heels. This is also a reason I didn’t mind investing in the shoe because you can get a lot of wear out of them. So if you want a hip mom shoe… choose these.

❤